Meg Left Her Mark on Me

Meg left an impression on me. Literally.

I hadn’t been working at my dog daycare job too long when I first met Meg, a small-ish white Pit Bull whom I would soon find out had been rescued after a lengthy attempt of rescuing. She was scared and I hadn’t been around long enough to see some of the signs and when I reached out to pet her, I averted my eyes to whom I was speaking, and Meg bit my right thumb.

It was my first dog bite.

Dog bites don’t happen all that much at dog daycares, especially if you’re paying attention to what you’re doing. Almost all of them happen when a dog is scared. In the seven years, I’ve been on the job I can probably count the times my skin has been broken by a dog’s bite on one hand.

You don’t want to be bitten by a dog. But my first dog bite feels looking back on it like it was an initiation. Meg immediately felt sorry for biting me – you can tell by looking at a dog when they’re sorry. I felt worse for scaring her than I did for the pain emanating from my thumb, which was bleeding rather decently. Dog bites hurt worse the next day when the bruising has set in, especially if it’s on a bone.

I have a photo from March 8, 2016, of Meg sitting on my lap, with my arm around her side. The Facebook caption I posted reads: “Meg took a bite out of my thumb last week and today is my lap dog.”

I had been branded.

Meg was special. She was sassy and selective. It could take a while for her to allow people into her space. I got the brand, so I didn’t have to wait. Over the years she would welcome many others into her space. We ended up truly being Meg’s Fan Club. Thankfully they got the easier initiation.

When you were with Meg she made it feel like you were hers and she was yours. The only dogs I have more photos of than Meg are my own.

Meg left us last week after a short illness. I got to see her one last time, though I didn’t realize at the time it would be the last, one week ago today. The other board members of her fan club were there too. I kissed her on her snout and said goodbye – just in case.

You don’t want to be bitten by a dog, but I’m happy Meg left her mark on me. I’ll never be able to forget her. All I have to do is look at my thumb, and she is in my memories.

 

Hold People Responsible, But Please Know Their Message or Intent or Correct Identity First

Less than two weeks ago Amy Cooper, a white woman, called the police on Christian Cooper, a black man, who simply asked her to leash her dog, as is the rule in New York City’s Central Park, because he was bird watching and loose dogs would negatively impact it. It was another in a long line of white women calling the police on black men for breaking no laws at all – something that we know could have potentially deadly consequences for the black men.

Shortly after video of this went viral people doing online sleuthing found out that Amy Cooper was an employee of Franklin Templeton and attempted to and succeeded in getting her fired.

There was some debate about whether or not this was wrong or right. I felt it was right, because even if she wasn’t on the clock when this incident happened, she still represents that company and what company would want someone working for them who is either racist or did something racist.

That seemed like months ago after what has happened since with the death of George Floyd at the knee of the Minneapolis P.D. The country has become engaged in activism and civil unrest in the week since Floyd’s death, the majority of it peaceful.

I never expected protests to come to my hometown of Conway, Ark. I always felt it was too small of a town to participate in a large scale in something of this nature but was pleasantly surprised to see a good sized protest that ended up just a couple of miles from my home on Sunday night (May 31).

There was a livestream of this protest on Facebook that I followed for probably a couple of hours and I might have commented on it upwards of 10 times. Most of my comments were straightforward about how I believed if the local and state police used teargas on what was a peaceful protest, but they wanted broken up because they didn’t have a permit for it and at times were standing in the street, it would’ve been escalating the situation. The majority of my comments were obviously pro-protest. But I’m a sarcastic person by nature and when I saw a comment that I felt was idiotic from another commentator who said, “They aren’t going home until the gas comes out” while the protest was in front of a local thrift shop called Touch of Heaven I responded with: “’They aren’t going home until the gas comes out’ – y’all plan on thrift shopping at Touch of Heaven at 9:30 on a Sunday Night.” This was also a sarcastic comment about people acting like they had to be somewhere late on a Sunday evening when complaining about folks blocking traffic.

I felt that putting the original commenter’s statement in quotes would make it apparent I was commenting on it (but who knows when people come into these live streams and what they do or do not see). I also made the dumb mistake – that I’ve honestly made a few times in my life – of thinking strangers are going to catch my sarcasm, especially in text. And, it doesn’t help that the business was a thrift shop and my use of “thrift shopping” might have been seen as a euphemism for looting. I really didn't think it through - again I admit I was dumb in that situation. 

Somebody screenshotted my remark and I ended up on a post that said something to the effect of “the racists are out in Conway tonight.” I actually only found the post because the person who shared it had left a comment on another one of my comments that I was confused by. Ultimately, I found out we were both confused by each other.

I politely asked the poster if she would remove the comment and explained I was using sarcasm to mock someone I thought was being idiotic. I asked her to look at my previous comments on the post or check out my profile – all of my posts are public and I’ve had a lot of pro-protest, anti-police brutality, etc. posts as of late. Thankfully for my potential well-being she understood and removed my image from the post.

This is something that happens from time to time. People are either misunderstood or more often misidentified by folks trying to get them fired.

Remember, I was OK with Amy Cooper being fired.

I’m still OK with Amy Cooper being fired.

I’m seeing many such posts about people saying racist things and I do believe there should be consequences for those people.

I only ask that if you’re going to screenshot someone’s words or identify them via photographs that you make certain you know exactly what they are saying, meaning and especially that it’s the correct person before doing so. Because there are misunderstandings.

Luckily, most people aren’t as dumb as I was being on Sunday night and are saying exactly what they mean in a straight-forward manner. But fact-checking is something we should all be doing.

Loving Them Like You Do Comes with the Hurting Too

My brain doesn’t know what to tell the rest of me right now. It doesn’t know whether to tell my eyes to cry or my fists to punch holes through a wall. It’s just confused. It’s probably not a scholarly definition, but I think confusion is what happens when sadness and anger mix and neither has the strength to overtake the other, so you just sit staring off in the distance with thoughts circling around in your head.

I’m looking at a photo right now. It’s a fluffy red and white husky giving me a kiss on the forehead. It’s how I’m greeted by hundreds of dogs. It’s how I’ve been greeted by probably thousands in the more than four years I’ve been working my job. It’s my preferred way to be greeted because I know it means the dogs love me, as much as I love them.

This particular dog and her equally loving brother won’t ever greet me this way again. That hurts. They were taken away from us in a tragic manner involving an abundance of stupidity that seems rampant in this world no matter how we strive to rid ourselves of it. I don’t want to get into any particulars, but it’s a manner in which seems to be considered “fair game” in Arkansas.

It’s been a particularly hard time lately for myself and my co-workers having lost so many dogs we dearly cared for via tragedy or plain old age and illness. It’s a reminder that we need to cherish those close to us and tell them how we feel about them on a daily manner. The world could ease up on these reminders a bit, though.

I have at least two co-workers who I hear say “I love you” to each and every dog that boards at my place of work when checking on them for the last time before leaving for the night. It always puts a smile on my face. We have a slogan that can be found on our company website and on some of our clothing that says, “We love them like you do.” I think many company slogans are just marketing tools. This one is true. You can’t be greeted by a doggie kiss to the forehead and not feel it.

I don’t know what else to say at this time. I think that’s because the sadness and the anger are still wrestling each other in my head. All three of my dogs are asleep in my house right now. I think I might just watch them for a while.

School Walkouts: Proud of Students, Not So Much of Schools

I want the thousands, if not millions, of students who walked out of their classrooms and schools on Wednesday, March 14 in a remembrance of students killed in Parkland, Fla. and elsewhere and to protest lax gun regulations that have helped those perpetrate such tragedies to know that I’m proud of them.

I also want students who wanted to participate in the walkout but couldn’t or wouldn’t because their schools imposed penalties against them if they did to know I’m proud of them, as well. I understand why you couldn’t. I understand not wanting something like a suspension on your record. Even though you didn’t participate I’m proud of you for having your heart in the right place.

For those students whose schools did penalize them for participating in the protest but decided to walkout anyway I’m especially proud of you. I know the suspensions, detentions, etc. will be hard, but they were obviously worth it to you to speak your hearts and minds. Your strong opinions and will power will be a great addition to this world and I hope you will have a positive impact on this country and planet.

I’ve never had faith in any generation. My parents’ generation has let this world down. Their parents’ generation did the same. I fear my generation – I’m 12 to 15 years older than you – is heading in a negative direction, as well. But, your generation – at least the ones of you speaking loudly enough for me to hear – gives me hope.

I’ve never had faith in education in this country either. I hate to say this because my mother is a teacher, but she is one of the best and teaches elementary school where I believe things are being taught that are necessary. Everybody needs to know the basics in this world and this is where they are taught. My lack of faith in education comes from the high school and junior high levels, maybe even middle school. I don’t believe schools at this level are doing right by our students. I believe this because I love to learn. I love knowledge. And, I will tell you right now that I’ve learned way more on my own than I ever did from school, and unfortunately that also includes college where I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree. That’s because schools don’t seem to be much more than an eight-hour daycare to keep children out of trouble while their parents are at work. I could go on about education in this country, but it’s not really what I’m here for.

I’m disappointed in many of the public and private schools in this country for how they reacted to the student walkout on Wednesday and in the days before warning students about participating. Any school that would penalize a student for participating in a protest is missing an incredible learning opportunity. We learn about the United States Constitution and its amendments in school. The first of these amendments is about freedom of speech, assembly, press and religion and, of course, these mean that the United States government can’t impede these. That’s something too many people don’t know or remember. Schools can make their own rules about speech, assembly, etc. But, in this situation schools should’ve applauded students participating in something they are taught about in school, not penalize them for doing so. There’s no better way to learn than doing so first hand. Teachers and administrators should’ve joined their students in these protests and then taught them about the important of the First Amendment afterward or in the days leading up to it. Of Mice and Men and algebra and the battles of the Civil War could’ve waited another day. These schools blew their opportunity and, in the process, probably helped to lose a generation’s faith in education.

Fidget Spinners - The Latest Thing Dumbing Down Your Children

Have you heard of the new fad spreading like wildfire among children these days? 

It’s called a fidget spinner. And, it seems like every child absolutely must have one. Like most fads fidget spinners seemingly just appeared out of thin air this year (though they actually date back to the early ‘90s) and have already reached epidemic status among children. My place of business started carrying these “toys” this week and placed them right by the cash registers were parents with children needing to be like all the others at school are suckered into spending $8 on a piece of plastic around a bearing that simply spins. Of the toy fads I’ve seen over the years this is frankly the dumbest one.

The idea of fidget spinners, though, was to help children with learning disabilities like ADHD or anxiety. Watching the fidget spinner go around and around supposedly can help children to focus if they have issues doing so. The only issue now is that every child seemingly must have one, whether they have troubles focusing or not (unless every child these days has these issues, which honestly wouldn’t surprise me). And, these fidget spinners have gone from being tools to help focus, to distracting children altogether. I’ve heard numerous reports from teachers, both as customers at my work and within my family and friend base, decrying these objects as nuisances. The fidget spinners are keeping children from learning, rather than helping them to do so. Many schools have outright banned fidget spinners from the classroom, as a result.

I was dismayed over the last couple of days at work seeing these items sell like hotcakes. Not only because I believe companies are taking advantage of children and their parents in selling them what’s essentially cheap crap for $8 – and some customers say they’ve seen places selling them for as high as $35 – but because I know these toys are merely making children dumber. And, I do blame the parents for this.

Instead of buying your child an $8 piece of crap that’s likely either going to get lost or them in trouble and certainly will distract them from learning if taken into the classroom how about getting them something that will help them learn or grow in life, and likely will be cheaper in the long run. Why not supply your kid with paper and pen or markers and spark some creativity in their minds? Why not buy your kid a book so their imaginations grow, as well as their vocabulary, so they’re not likely to become adults with high school or even college diplomas unable to tell the difference between “there,” “their” and “they’re” or “accept” and “except.” How about spending $2 on a baseball and taking them outside for a catch so they can get much-needed exercise and spend quality time with you or their siblings and friends.

Parents these days don’t seem to care as much about the education of their children as much as they do keeping their children distracted so that they aren’t a nuisance to them. This is why the idea of fidget spinners and seeing so many of them selling and the faces of kids who have had parents purchase these for them this week has bugged me severely. I see it as an example of this country continuing to dumb itself down and the part we’re playing in it ourselves. 

Sometimes It's Better to Be a Good Person

I broke a rule today and I’m OK with it.

I’m typically a fan of following the rules. I believe there are good rules and bad rules, but I’m generally a fan of the order they keep.

Have you ever seen a cowboy on the verge of tears?

I never had until today when a customer was having photos printed for what I assumed to be some sort of memorial for his beloved horse Champ, who he just buried earlier in the day. Some of these photos were from a cowboy calendar and thus were copywritten. It’s the policy of the business not to copy anything that’s copywritten and it’s not just a good rule, but a great one. As a writer, I wouldn’t want someone taking my work without paying. As a music lover, I despise the idea of someone stealing music. But the key to this is making a profit or keeping someone else from doing so. This grieving man and his wife weren’t going to profit from these copies and they’d already purchased the calendar containing the images.

My supervisor had previously told the couple that we couldn’t copy the copywritten images and then she went on her break. While she was gone, the couple asked me if they could use the self-serve copier option to make copies of the calendar photos. I said, “Sure, but next time don’t tell me you’re doing it.” We’ve never kept tabs on what people are or aren’t printing on these machines, after all. The only problem was the color copier wasn’t working today, so feeling bad for the couple I offered to do it myself. This is when the supervisor walked back in. Even though the customers left our business completely happy and we made a slight profit she wasn’t happy. But, sometimes the “right” way to do something can feel like the absolutely wrong way to do it. Sometimes it’s better to be a good person than it is to follow the rules. 

If Only Obamacare Covered Being An Asshole

Growing up I had a close friend named Cody. We were so close, or at least we thought, that it was at times like having a third brother. We enjoyed throwing a baseball around for hours, stealing my brother’s golf cart and wrecking it in the woods and all sorts of mischief. Cody and I decided to go to the same college and become roommates.

Our friendship would never quite be the same. It didn’t take me too long to realize that my friendship with Cody had been more out of convenience of locality – we both lived 30 miles out of town, where we went to school, and didn’t have easy access to other friends. Living together, just for a short while, let me see that we really didn’t have that much in common. We didn’t have many of the same likes, beliefs, feelings. We drifted apart. I moved out. He moved away shortly after and now we’re more occasional acquaintances than friends and the acquaintance part has pretty much solely been online via social media.

The big difference between the two of us could probably be summed up by saying I cared too much and he didn’t care enough except for when it came to cultivating and protecting his own ignorance. I’m a liberal. He’s a conservative, though I doubt he could even tell you why. It’s just part of the family bloodline.

These days that’s enough on its own to drive people apart.

I was watching the second presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump on Sunday night and at one point Trump was going off about how bad Obamacare had been for the country in a manner that led one to believe he didn’t exactly know why nor did he know a better option for the country. This bothered me and on Facebook I posted a status about how had I not been covered by Obamacare over the last two years that I likely would’ve been screwed.

Cody responded a while later to my post simply stating, “Trump all the way.”

“Without it I’d have been screwed over the last two years.” That’s not just words. That’s a personal admission of a person who generally could have been screwed without this help. And, not just screwed. There is a potential – maybe not a likelihood – but a potential that Obamacare saved my life. In early 2015 I lost a full time job. The job was likely killing me in ways, but it gave me medical insurance. I got a part time job, but part time jobs don’t offer insurance. For 10 months I was making less than $1000 a month and the zero dollars I had to pay on insurance thanks to Obamacare helped me survive. Not only in an economical sense, but it paid for the blood pressure and cholesterol pills and especially the CPAP machine products for my sleep apnea that truly keep me going on a daily basis. In late December of last year, I added a second job. Two part time jobs offer the same amount of medical insurance as one – nada. I work six days a week most weeks, making barely over minimum wage at each job, just to get close to 40 hours and I’m still barely pulling in $1000 a month. Don’t take this as a complaint. I enjoy both jobs, work my ass off at both, and even do a bit of writing, my real passion, on the side for free. I’m just stating these facts to show how much Obamacare has done for me and to show that I’m not some bum taking government handouts like so many are led to believe. Obamacare allowed me to keep food in my belly and a roof over my head instead of giving every last cent to my CPAP machine.

So, when I post something personal about something that’s meant so much to me and somebody just comes along and merely states, “Trump all the way,” without taking into account my thoughts, feelings or well-being, it pisses me off.

You can like whatever politicians and policies you want. I’m not trying to dictate that. But, if you take someone’s personal post, don’t take into account their feelings and merely turn it into a moment to show your support for a candidate, without backing it up with facts or even really an opinion it makes you an asshole. And, that’s the problem many of us have with Donald Trump and his supporters. He’s made assholery fashionable or acceptable. He’s made it OK for people to just say and do the most deplorable things. He’s made it OK for people to ignore the needs and feelings of others. He’s made it OK not to have to put yourself in the shoes of others or care about anybody other than yourself.

It didn’t surprise me when Cody posted that on my status. Because what was a moment of personal weakness for me – showing I needed government assistance just to survive – was a moment for him to poke fun at me about it all. It didn’t surprise me because I grew up and grew apart with Cody. I grew into what I hope is a good person who cares – even if it may be a little too much. He grew into an asshole. That’s what happens when one person tries to better themselves and another clinches his fingernails into hereditary ignorance.